2008 was the year..

2008 was the year I

-Made new friends
-Met new people
-Surprised a few people
-Got an unexpected roomie
-Got an awesome roomie
-Severed old ties
-Repaired some new ones
-Switched to Airtel
-Got internet in Room
-Got chucked out of class
-Reported for my first training
-Bunked the very next day itself
-Got sloshed
-Din’t miss the Great Calcutta Durga Puja
-Did miss the NIT Trichy one
-Saw Liverpool finish a heart-breaking 4th
-Saw Liverpool climb to top of EPL at half-season
-Attended my first Festember
-Coordinated my first Festember
-Attended my second Pragyan
-Got two certificates for managing one event
-Din’t bother to go for Dalal Street
-Officially got into Civil Engineering
-Flicked a broom from the department
-Made Mess B my alternative mess
-Made Buhari the regular one
-Gave fundaes to juniors
-Learnt basketball both on the ground and on EA Sports
-Watched thousands of sitcoms
-Watched millions of movies
-Escaped birthday bumps
-Completed my first real nightout (12-9AM)
-Sent my first proffing mail
-Expanded my Gmail list and got active on Okku
-Declared Messi as God’s own Winger
-Got up at 7 for survey classes

NIT Trichy : The How/When/Why/Where Guide

Opening quotes :
“Man made booze , God made grass, To enjoy both come to NITDBPPA “ – Unidentified student

“Give me 28 years of Island of Despair, not 4 years of NITDBPPA” – Robinson Crusoe

“Where are the studs of India?” – Oscar Wilde

“Get a Life, Oscar” – a student of NITDBPPA

“Ich hasse Amerika , Ich hasse die Juden, Ich liebe NITDBPPA “- Hitler (use Google Translate )

The National Institute of Technology,Doping,Boozing and Pornographic Art at Tiruchirappalli, NITDBPPA-Trichy, (formerly Regional Entertainment Centre, Trichy, TREC) is an institute specially meant for over-priviledged students selected across the country for “Daring To Dream” about marijuana,porn,movies,Romanov and Counter Strike. It is a co-educational college meant for both boys and girls posing as boys. Of course the regime of no discrimination based on sexual orientation, means gays are also free to pursue their own choices. It may however lead to the following criminal activities.

1.Since all the girls look like boys,they may end up with red roses for them , come Rose Day, which may force a girl to reveal her actual identity and face fraudulent charges under IPC/420/TTS/5355, since you know girls are not allowed in our college.

2.Male Rape cases have been on the rise with over 40 such cases in the new hospital registered this year where the rapist demanded to know why the rapee never got pregnant.(Engineers and Biology never mix)

NITT is built on a land the Indian government bought for INR 36 million from the American Government , where the latter used to test radioactive and nuclear bombs as a result of which you will find a totally barren desert which some genetically mutated cows which have however made our college famous as the technical institute with the biggest traffic problem a.k.a cattle who occupy the roads waiting for the non-existent traffic signals to turn green.
My inside sources however claim this land was particularly chosen due to its vicinity to the special place called Thuvakudi, a mystery though I haven’t managed to solve due to time constraints.

Admission is through a very tough exam called AIETSDFSRRGDSF, actually the full form is the largest of its kind in Milky Way hence people have stopped deciphering it. Anyways it’s a very very selective exam with over 7 lakh hopeless youth fighting it out for some 800 seats, and what with Arjun Singhs policy of reservations for the mentally retarded and the Congress voters in UP(where incidentally they lose election after election), it becomes even more tough. It is actually a very pointless exam where you are tested on Physics,Chemistry and Maths rather than Porn, Alcohol and Drug Abuse.This creates a peculiar condition where the X gets screened out but Y gets in and turns into X thereby increasing the population of X in general, where
X = drug addicts, drug dealers, porn kings, vandals and miscreants
Y= nerds, geeks and underage genius who study Laplace transforms as an additional for kindergarten.
This indigenious policy drafted by the HRD ministry ensures that India follows the American Society and Economic model and turn into a third-world country like them, from being a 27th world country.

Student Activities are mainly through various clubs and associations.

Rotaract Club – They conduct mock AIETSDFSRRGDSF exams to ensure the continuity of the above mentioned process and do stuff in the “Barn” which may range from feeding cattle, or eating the haystacks themselves.

Leo Club – It’s a club whose primary event is inducting mental retards into the club, who themselves got into the college under the NRI (Non-Reservation Idiots) quota.

Aayam Club – They intend to establish a mini state of Bihar in TN right in NITDBPPA, but last heard Laloo had refused to conduct a guest lecture because apparently he was asked to speak in Hindi whereas after his IIM-Ahd visit he only speaks English.

E-Cell – Its an very hardworking club whose sole objective is to blow Govt of India money by inviting people from Tunisia, El Salvadore and Burkina Faso to present their ideas on how to waste more money. Their magazine, Paisa Inc, is hugely popular owing to the fact that the NRIs take time adjusting to the “no-tissue paper” system in toilets.

UNESCO Club – It’s a spoof of the real UNESCO organization.

CRY Club – Initially intended as another spoof, but now nobody is quite sure of its existence anymore. Legend has it, it used to sell drafters to freshers.

The hostels of NITDBPPA are an architectural wonder. They offer each student more leg-room than Deccan Airways gives to its Cattle Class seats and are the most eco-friendly in the world with rats, mosquitoes, cockroaches, lizards all coexisting in the same habitat.

The festivals hosted by NITDBPPA include Festember, the annual gay-parade , full of colours, dancing around non-existent trees and gay T-shirts and Pragyan where hundreds of nerds collaborate together to make this world an even more complicated place. Of course the latter is an international event since we have participants from Sri Lanka (what with the LTTE problems across the channel they find NITDBPPA safer)

Classroom Drama

I am now standing at the fag end of the 2nd year. Among the many ubiquities privileges that come in 3rd year and I am looking forward to, is that I won’t have to take crap from subjects I don’t like, importantly Geotechnical Engineering. This is a very unique slot we have, taken by a faculty who is in fact extremely hard-working. Unfortunately there are only a few takers .

The class starts with our faculty entering right on time and as some allege sometimes before time. But the Civil sense of time(pun not intended) can hardly be reliable since we take it for granted that every class shall start at least 10 minutes later than schedule. F(Faculty) will take our attendance right after entering the class with the following efficiency solutions.

1. The proxy experts haven’t yet arrived and hence no need to look at individual faces.

2. Less number of students means faster attendance. Hence energy saved and time saved. The class starts with F writing X on the board.

X refers to all study material which seem Roman at that point but seem perfectly Geotechnical before the day of exams. The initial ten minutes will result in people diligently copying down formulas/bulleted lists/diagrams only to realize that those were ‘recap’. Meanwhile the rest 90% of the class will have gathered outside by this time and with use of sign language which only the M17 and FBI can detect, will try to gather vital information as to the status of the attendance. Hearts are broken when they get their negative replies but nevertheless get inside thanks to F having a peek outside.

As the last benches get filled up now, the murmuring becomes louder which irritates F and he in turn murmurs a few threats which eventually have some effect. Now that the lecture is in full flow we can easily divide the class into Two Phases and Three Types of Junta. For fear of stereotyping, I won’t classify using names like Nerds, Sleepers, Boring phase, Active phase etc.

Junta Type One

They are the ones which keep the professors at bay actually. They copy down notes diligently stare at the board or the professor most of the times. Not that I blame them , since come exams they are our Saviours.

Junta Type Two

These mainly comprise the back/semi-back benchers. They utilize their time exploring their creativity, venting their feelings on the back page of their All-In-One notebook, scribbling on the desks, throwing missed calls to people to check their silent mode status, participating in the under-desk chatting network, cursing themselves for choosing engineering, breaking high-score records in Snake , drawing caricatures or sometimes taking photographs of others(including F)

Junta Type Three

These comprise people for whom the most productive hours of the day last from 1 AM to 3 AM and hence get their precious sleep in the class before they get back to Counter-strike, Dota and movies. There are three different poses in which you can sleep in the class The Face in hand pose, in which you put both your hands on your forehead, seemingly staring at the notebook. The other variation is in which you support your forehead in one hand and pose your other hand on the notebook. This is less riskier since you appear to be taking notes as well in addition to staring at you notebook. The third, the most daring and only employed to fight drastic bouts of sleepiness, is to go heads down on the bench. I repeat , DO NOT attempt this with high-risk faculties and HODs and if you do, take the precaution of informing your bench-mate to give you a tight kick in case of an emergency.

Phase One

This is the phase when people have higher levels of patience and endurance and are ready to take crap from F in exchange for the attendance. Diagrams are drawn, tables are made and notes taken, even by the back-benchers. Some even venture out their curiosity by asking questions.Overall a very feel-good phase which exists for the first 40 minutes.

Phase Two

This is when the furtive glances at the watches become more and more frequent and then anxious as one spots other department students strolling out in the CLC corridors like that deer who has just been released in Madagascar from the New York Zoo. Anxiousness gives way to desperation as the regulated time is exceeded and groans for release are rejected with “just 5 mins” statutory remarks.Needless to say it is never “just 5 minutes” and maybe way more than that. This phase is I think a true test of nerve , if you can endure this , I guess nothing in life will be more difficult be it listening to your wife’s rantings in future or your Boss taking credit for your work. After all it’s an engineering college which makes you a man.(Feminists please shut up, it’s a figure of speech)

The Unforgettable First Year

Ok so you have finally landed in the heaven they call an engineering college and is still to come to terms with the sleepy profs and even more sleepy students, the lack of Hostel LAN and so on… Look deep there are so many things to enjoy and celebrate as the first of your jobless four years commence……

Enjoy Life !

Enjoy

The crappy mess food with all its denim chappatis ,

The fever of Festember which of course you will miss ,

The fear of seniors alongwith the 3 Rs : ragging, rules n regulations

The mindless SMSing in those sleepy lectures

The Xerox frenzy preceding every cycle tests

The long nights poring over those Xeroxes

The club inductions and the chaat of the ‘interviews’

The first year parties where dress-codes take a break

The mindless movie-watching till 4 in the morn

The breaking the 10 PM curfew so that u can squeeze In some extra hours of CS/Dota

The endless gossip ranging from that junior high school crush to why theres only 4000 IIT seats

The continual cursing of the 8:30 morning class

The dumass copying of readings in labs

The boring ED sessions before submission day

The feverish revisions 10 mins before the exams

The strict attendance regime of 25% at Snacky (Guess where’s the other 75 ?)

The jobless roaming around during the 10:10-10:30 break

The winter that will never come.

The Pragyan which finally will come.

I wonder whether this is me advising my firsties to enjoy what is probably the most memorable part of being an NITTian or simply me being nostalgic.