Opening quotes :
“Man made booze , God made grass, To enjoy both come to NITDBPPA “ – Unidentified student
“Give me 28 years of Island of Despair, not 4 years of NITDBPPA” – Robinson Crusoe
“Where are the studs of India?” – Oscar Wilde
“Get a Life, Oscar” – a student of NITDBPPA
“Ich hasse Amerika , Ich hasse die Juden, Ich liebe NITDBPPA “- Hitler (use Google Translate )
The National Institute of Technology,Doping,Boozing and Pornographic Art at Tiruchirappalli, NITDBPPA-Trichy, (formerly Regional Entertainment Centre, Trichy, TREC) is an institute specially meant for over-priviledged students selected across the country for “Daring To Dream” about marijuana,porn,movies,Romanov and Counter Strike. It is a co-educational college meant for both boys and girls posing as boys. Of course the regime of no discrimination based on sexual orientation, means gays are also free to pursue their own choices. It may however lead to the following criminal activities.
1.Since all the girls look like boys,they may end up with red roses for them , come Rose Day, which may force a girl to reveal her actual identity and face fraudulent charges under IPC/420/TTS/5355, since you know girls are not allowed in our college.
2.Male Rape cases have been on the rise with over 40 such cases in the new hospital registered this year where the rapist demanded to know why the rapee never got pregnant.(Engineers and Biology never mix)
NITT is built on a land the Indian government bought for INR 36 million from the American Government , where the latter used to test radioactive and nuclear bombs as a result of which you will find a totally barren desert which some genetically mutated cows which have however made our college famous as the technical institute with the biggest traffic problem a.k.a cattle who occupy the roads waiting for the non-existent traffic signals to turn green.
My inside sources however claim this land was particularly chosen due to its vicinity to the special place called Thuvakudi, a mystery though I haven’t managed to solve due to time constraints.
Admission is through a very tough exam called AIETSDFSRRGDSF, actually the full form is the largest of its kind in Milky Way hence people have stopped deciphering it. Anyways it’s a very very selective exam with over 7 lakh hopeless youth fighting it out for some 800 seats, and what with Arjun Singhs policy of reservations for the mentally retarded and the Congress voters in UP(where incidentally they lose election after election), it becomes even more tough. It is actually a very pointless exam where you are tested on Physics,Chemistry and Maths rather than Porn, Alcohol and Drug Abuse.This creates a peculiar condition where the X gets screened out but Y gets in and turns into X thereby increasing the population of X in general, where
X = drug addicts, drug dealers, porn kings, vandals and miscreants
Y= nerds, geeks and underage genius who study Laplace transforms as an additional for kindergarten.
This indigenious policy drafted by the HRD ministry ensures that India follows the American Society and Economic model and turn into a third-world country like them, from being a 27th world country.
Student Activities are mainly through various clubs and associations.
Rotaract Club – They conduct mock AIETSDFSRRGDSF exams to ensure the continuity of the above mentioned process and do stuff in the “Barn” which may range from feeding cattle, or eating the haystacks themselves.
Leo Club – It’s a club whose primary event is inducting mental retards into the club, who themselves got into the college under the NRI (Non-Reservation Idiots) quota.
Aayam Club – They intend to establish a mini state of Bihar in TN right in NITDBPPA, but last heard Laloo had refused to conduct a guest lecture because apparently he was asked to speak in Hindi whereas after his IIM-Ahd visit he only speaks English.
E-Cell – Its an very hardworking club whose sole objective is to blow Govt of India money by inviting people from Tunisia, El Salvadore and Burkina Faso to present their ideas on how to waste more money. Their magazine, Paisa Inc, is hugely popular owing to the fact that the NRIs take time adjusting to the “no-tissue paper” system in toilets.
UNESCO Club – It’s a spoof of the real UNESCO organization.
CRY Club – Initially intended as another spoof, but now nobody is quite sure of its existence anymore. Legend has it, it used to sell drafters to freshers.
The hostels of NITDBPPA are an architectural wonder. They offer each student more leg-room than Deccan Airways gives to its Cattle Class seats and are the most eco-friendly in the world with rats, mosquitoes, cockroaches, lizards all coexisting in the same habitat.
The festivals hosted by NITDBPPA include Festember, the annual gay-parade , full of colours, dancing around non-existent trees and gay T-shirts and Pragyan where hundreds of nerds collaborate together to make this world an even more complicated place. Of course the latter is an international event since we have participants from Sri Lanka (what with the LTTE problems across the channel they find NITDBPPA safer)